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Shameful confession time; I've never had corn ribs (£6.50) before. I was once one of the type who saw them on a menu and ranted away with; 'Why call them ribs, they are vegetables. Vegans need to stop it' etc. Well now that vegans have stopped it as the trend has largely passed, I can pipe down myself. A whole cob of corn, sliced into wedges then deep fried/seasoned. They eat like a rib hence the name but were bursting with intense caramelised corn flavour. Absolutely delicious, in short. I only ordered them to get more photo content but was happy with that call.
But the only the reason I came here was for some chicken. A lot of chicken in fact, in the guise of a burger. They also sell tacos, wings and all other sorts. But the burger I opted for was the Buffalo and Blue Cheese Chicken Sandwich (£17). The scale is immediately obvious. I have pitchforks for hands, but this was still a solid double fist of joy. The chicken was ample, well cooked to a juicy state and tasted great, enhanced by the sweet/sour pop from the excellent pickles which were just the right size and thickness. A fresh bite from the slaw rounded off with a kick from the buffalo and blue sauces was delicious too.
The fries were also notable in both quality and volume, sat aside the burger. Well cooked, really well seasoned, and in a portion on a scale that would satisfy King Kong himself. You won't be scaling any skyscrapers after eating these and they warranted their own artily focused iPhone shot, as you can see. Im quite proud of that one to be honest. Go me.
Beverage came via a simple pint of ginger ale (£4), which was clearly either from a high-quality vendor, or even home-made. I forgot to ask. But safe to say that it was better than your average mass bottled wares, and well worth the four quid that was handed over. |
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However; less is more. Dirty is good, but you could get away using less sauce without reducing the pleasure at all. As its end approached, my burger became a slippery remnant of the once majestic structure which it was only 6 minutes prior. Everything had started to fall out, and it was a bold decision to avoid the knife and forks supplied. A burger shouldn’t need them, or a bib.
So yes, sauce is delish and a must on any burger, but it also destroys bread, especially on slimline buns such as these.
When it comes to sauce on burgers, less is more, as I say. |
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Overall  |
I've seen Kong's floating around on socials for eons now, right back to when they were a pop up, and always promised myself to call in because on the quiet, I'm a bit of a junk food fanatic on top of all the fancier stuff. Aside from being food obsessed, I also love eating full stop. The two are not the same albeit equally as satisfying. But for some reason that visit just never materialised, until now.
The boss was at a swisher event on the far side of town which didn’t permit a plus one, so I ended up taking the opportunity to finally call in and test drive those mighty IG burgers.
And as expected, they are dirty ones. Forget a polished sandwich which you can grip in one hand without dislocating your jaw to eat, and then consume without few bits falling out. Not at all. It's the same dirty goodness which made Kong's stand out on socials all that time ago, and sometimes you just want a dirty burger. Sure, it was perhaps a bit too dirty for its own good and less can be more, but still, it was delicious.
To be honest, sitting in a corner seat eating alone, felt rebellious. Naughty. Almost taboo for a middle-aged man who generally spends his dining-room time in swankier joints. Nobody would recognise me there, wearing a scruffy/comfy hoodie, devouring what must have been 2000 calories in 15 minutes whilst waiting to taxi the boss from her event. I wanted to put my hood up and hide under it to amplify those feelings of naughtiness. But then had a word with myself in a reminder than nobody actually cares either way. The seat next to me was also occupied by a middle-aged man with the same haircut and facial fluff as me. He ordered the same burger as me too, only without pickles. I instantly disliked him for that, but largely because his presence stole a tad of my self-imposed old-man thunder, covertly hanging out with the cool kids. He then didn’t tip, so my internal vitriol was justified in the end anyway.
I dawdled whilst drinking the free water to draw out my fun for as long as possible without table-hogging, and came away feeling full, well looked after, and having spent not much money at all. But most of all I was happy and left with a big smile on my face. Ultimately, that’s what food on any level is all about.
I need more nights at places like Kong's.
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101 - 103 Oldham Street, Manchester, M4 1LW
0161 948 4458
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WORLD CLASS! 
= FANTASTIC 
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Good 
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OK 
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Poor
